BDSM and Sex Are Like Strawberries and Nutella

BDSM and sex are like strawberries and Nutella. Just because I can eat them separately, doesn’t mean I should. You, of course, can have all the nonsexual scenes you like, but my body has been loaded with operating system SeXt 2.0, and you can’t click the “flog” button without releasing pixels and pixels of “mmmm!”

Pain is not my idea of a good time unless there’s a sexy sadist doing the hurting. I despise being told what to do unless you’re a dominant who kisses just right. I’m not an exhibitionist until he is, and no, I fucking won’t cook you meals every day unless we’re in a sexual relationship. All of these things work in reverse, too: Whip me, and the weather report will instantly change to “Humid with a Chance of Blowjobs.”

I’ve recently stumbled on a form of purism that prefers sex and BDSM to be separate, so let’s make a deal. I won’t judge your junk-free kink if you won’t judge my BDSM-activated vagina. After all, it’s not my fault. I was born this way, just like you. I have a unique package of kinks, and they happen to be sexy.

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I love sex, and I never ever want to have less of it than I have to, especially when BDSM is involved. Surely that’s not going to harm any Olde School Players? If you like, I’ll totally kink away from prying eyes, but I won’t change it to suit other people’s definition of BDSM. I’ve been having kinky sexy for a lot of years, and I can completely guarantee that it’s not affected anyone but my partner in the slightest. My sex life isn’t a butterfly’s wing that causes a hurricane on the other side of the planet. I swear it. The only people who *should* complain about it are the neighbours.

My sexualisation of D/s wasn’t something I expected, but I’ve stopped trying to understand it. Sexuality is seated in the oldest part of the brain, and Lucy was prolly a pretty fucking weird hominid in bed. I’ll bet her partner, Luke, made floggers out of elephant leather and stones. I’ll also bet they didn’t write a textbook about how other hominids should use *their* elephant floggers. We’re all wired differently, and that’s okay.

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