If I were to create a universal list of kinks that applies in all relationships, it would go a little something like this:
That about sums it up because I’ve never had a relationship that was a repeat of the one before. H was a toppy vanilla type occasionally prone to dominant mind fucks and control. E was the rock star of exhibitionism and degradation. S was sadistic in every way, and R’s kink was “more” and “everything.” My kink list carries a ‘do not travel sign’. It stays in the relationship when I leave it behind.
Relationships are as inimitable as the sex that brings them to life. The idea of creating a perfect mock-up of what has gone before bores the hell out of me. I want new. I want more. I want better, but most of all, I want all of that to be unique, or what’s the point of leaving relationships behind?
As a service sub, my kink is making a dominant happy. That is hotter than every individual fetish I’ve delved into in the past. To me, kink is about the energy that passes between you, not the specificity of what you get up to. I feed off a man’s feelings, his pleasure, his complete loss of control. If I were entering a relationship with a list of opt-in fetishes, I might as well just mute my own lust because it would have the same effect.
If I had play partners, I might take a different approach, but that’s not my thing. I’ll tell you what I’ve done in the past and what I’ve loved most, but I probably won’t love it all in quite the same way as I did before. Do I want repeat performances of all my hottest sexual adventures? Hell, yes. Is that possible? No, but that’s a good thing because what’s coming is going to be completely different than anything I’ve already experienced. And I like that. I like bespoke sex because it doesn’t just fit me. It doesn’t just fit you. It fits us, and that’s sexy.
Kinks are the colours you use to paint your relationship’s sexuality. Why would I limit myself to a red and blue palette when there are so many other shades to create? I show up in the relationship with my colours. You show up with yours. Mix them together and suddenly there’s cerise and burgundy and Spanish red in the world. Why would I want it any different?