How to Get Laid on Fetlife as a Straight Male

If you ask your average dudebro, Fetife sucks for getting laid. They’ll tell you it’s because the women on the site are nothing more than fake profiles with pictures stolen from last year’s Pirelli calendar. We’re all made out of pixels. It’s true. What other reason could there possibly be for their inability to find fetish delivery systems?


Those dudebros have one thing in common: they trawl the site looking for sex, not people. They don’t go to events more than once or twice, so clearly they would know there are no real women on Fetlife. </sarcasm> I’m rarely treated at parties the way I’m treated by Fetlife cock shot avatars. 90% of the men who are active in our community are charming and well mannered.

Most of these walking bags of awesomeness and testosterone only use Fet to keep track of events and do a little socialising. Now listen closely, dudebros: they use the site to integrate into the kink community and then many of them get enough kink to swim in. Hell, I’ve watched someone who once called himself average turn into That Guy People Queue to Play With. He doesn’t call himself average anymore. Just as well, because he isn’t.

Sure, at every party there are those few men who stand by the cupcake table making their motives known to anyone who can follow their gaze from woman to woman. They’re there to get laid, so they don’t get laid. Women are pretty good at telling the difference between men who are interested in real people and those who want their kinks delivered via moving fleshlights. We don’t really fuck those ones all that often because treating women like people, it turns out, is a really good way to get laid.

The kink community is outstanding for finding play partners if you’re a respectful and respectable cis het guy.

It’s not complicated. Treat us like objects, we’ll treat you like you don’t exist.

2 thoughts on “How to Get Laid on Fetlife as a Straight Male

  1. Anonymous

    Oh please…..the kink community is just like other communities that give women a false sense of control. At the end of the day you’re getting railed by men (and women) until they find the next person.


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