How to Be a Sub

Subs have superpowers over their dominants. They have seriously powerful brains, which they must put to use convincing their dominants to serve them by tying them up and giving them orgasms and shit. Dominants are seriously chilled. Just bend him over and spank that ass.

Being submissive is a yuuuge responsibility because your priorities need to be in the right place: F’rinstance, on getting your dominant to buy you dresses and make you cappuccinos. Double espresso with cream, please. If you’re polite enough to call him Sir, he’ll definitely bake you cakes and take you on holidays. Always remember to plant grass in his keyboard if he complains that you’re not submissive enough for him. He’ll soon learn his lesson.


D/s relationships are full of pitfalls so find yourself a dom who only wants you to do stuff that’s sexy. Would you rather clean the toilet or be on blowjob duty? Eeexactly. So find a dominant who likes fucking but makes his own damn bed.

I’m sure you can guess which of you gets to fuck anyone you like and which of you has to stay monogamous coughdomcough ahem.

Sex is a marathon, not a sprint, so your dominants’ fitness levels are way more important than whether or not he’s bugged by subs who like playing Poke the Sadist. You need a dominant who can fuck for hours but can’t run fast enough to catch you after you poke him. Stop whining. Nobody said D/s was easy.

At some point, your dominant will tell you to quit leaving glitter bombs in the car and cupcakes under the bedding. Don’t listen to a word he says. Just run like hell and make sure you’re wearing a seriously hot dress next time he sees you.

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