I’m so ropey I can do the Handstand Scorpion Pose while flying a foot from the floor so that my rope top can easily suspend me from my left toe. My abs are basically quarried from Mars rocks.
I brought canapes that are held together by teeny handcuff-toothpicks, which I fashioned out of watermelon and this gelatin I made out of vegan agar powder, sourced from the bed of the Amazon River. What did youbring? Chips?
If you call me “Lord 69” I’ll let you fondle this butt plug.
The more naked you are, the more kink cred you have.
We sit in the smoker’s corner wearing Doc Martins and talking about which weapons we’d take to a zombie apocalypse.
Is my carotid artery severed in two? Oops. Sorry. I’m too masochistic to notice such things.
You’ll probably never find out why I’m kneeling under this table with half a carrot sticking out of my mouth.
I’m cisgender, but I accept LGB… um… DQIUERAK… What I’m trying to say is some of my best friends are trans.
My fetishes are blowjobs, vaginal penetration, and kissing.
We make floggers out of spiderwebs and crunched-up razor blades.
I mainly just stand in this corner looking for ways to work Latin words into my monologues. Did you notice I carry a mini-thesaurus in my man bag?
I’m new. Oh my god is that my shrink over there holding the whip??!!??!! BLOODY HELL next my gran will show up in chaps I think I’ll go home now bye!!!
We are greeters. We greet people. Hello. Hello. Hello.
Kink is more of a social thing for me. Like, I wouldn’t really spank someone, but I agree with the approach on a philosophical level.
We brought this 50 kg box of toys from our fully equipped dungeon house. Kindly form a neat queue on the left.
Being murdered is totally SSC.
I know 57 types of consent and brought these forms.
I talk about Nutella a lot and am definitely wearing this cupcake in my eyebrow on purpose.